It’s funny how it only takes a few blocks on a float to start to sketch out a Philosophy.
Every rider has one- a predisposition toward certain spectator types- it’s inevitable. You’ve spent lots of time and cash on this thing- now who’s going to receive your bounty? Who’s going home empty handed?
On the way home the first time we rode on Mardi Gras day, Charlie declared that although he loved the experience, he might’ve discovered a darker side to his personality than he’d suspected existed.
He’d discovered the joy of withholding.
It’s true. How often in life do you encounter someone annoying…or whiny… or just not whiny enough? Whatever it is- there’s something about that person you don’t like… now how often do you have the ability to do something about it? That’s the power of the float.
But we each had a different style this year- which is the great thing about being in the crowd- with dozens of floats, and dozens of riders per float, there’s bound to be people in the mix who’ll mesh with your particular parade viewing style.
I took a poll, and here’s our group’s breakout:
| Charlie’s Philosophy: |
- Bias toward: misfits, energetic people
- Bias against: People with boxes, or signs saying "We’re from someplace else! Gimme something!" He wants you to work for it.
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- Modus Operandi: Thoughtfully & selectively throws a strand at a time, size & quality dependant upon your worthiness.
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| Christopher’s Philosophy: |
- Bias toward:Little girls
- Bias against: Pushy drunks with entitlement issues- particularly the ones who point at the biggest beads onboard and demand them.
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- M.O.:Leaning waaaaaaay over to hand directly to the little ones- hard experience has taught him to be on the lookout for people jumping in between him and his target. There was one point I thought he was going over the side to kick this guy’s ass who grabbed something before a little girl could get to it.
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| Beth’s Philosophy: |
- Bias toward:Everyone!
- Bias against:No one!
- M.O.: Huge happy handfuls over the side- get her attention and smile and you’ve just scored whatever you want!
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| Karen’s Philosophy: |
- Bias toward:Cute guys
- Bias against: Personal sobriety. Unfortunately this gets in the way of throwing, but…
- M.O.: Lives through her whistle- respect the shrill blast and/or give her a wink and she’s yours.
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| My Philosophy: |
- Bias toward: 35-60 yr olds. It’s an ignored group- the very young, very cute and old (but spry) demographics are all well cared for. It’s us moms in the middle who get overlooked.
- Bias against: Demanding B.S.- i.e.: "My son’s going in the hospital tomorrow- gimme something!" huh? Yeah, go away, honey- I’ve got a teenager- if I wanted to listen to fanciful stories I’d ask her to tell me how her history test went.
- M.O.: Mamma bear. Although I throw well, I make sure everybody else is stocked up, take the pics, make sure everybody’s pacing themselves well. That said, politeness counts.
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| And although she didn’t ride this year, here’s Alison’s Philosophy: |
- Bias toward: Cool college girl-type role models, little boys for whom she saves some of the grosser beads
- Bias against:College boys. She holds a grudge against a particularly ill-behaved and drunken group several years ago. Let’s hope this bias sticks with her as she enters college.
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- M.O.:Send the annoying people to her mother, then, while mom’s occupied, steal her best beads.
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